


life ain't always beautiful

by parkrstark



Series: Asexual!Peter [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Gen, Heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 17:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: An asshole breaks Peter's heart, leaving Tony to stitch it back together.





	life ain't always beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes this is me projecting my first "heartbreak" onto Peter. Fuck this hurt like a bitch...still does. But I've got my Tony to help me through it just like Peter has his.

Tony heard the elevator ding and he smiled. Peter was supposed to come over an hour ago, but he texted saying he was going to be a little late. They didn't have anything to work on; it was just their day to hang out. Tony never told a soul and never would, but it was his favorite day of the week.

 

He heard Peter’s feet shuffling in behind him and he clicked the TV off with the remote. He put his arm over the top of the couch and turned around to greet him, “Hey, kiddo…” he trailed off when he actually saw him. 

 

The kid looked dead on his feet-- like a kicked puppy left out in the rain too long. He stopped a few feet away from the couch and just stood there, his eyes fixed on his feet.

 

Tony sat up straighter. “Pete, you okay?” 

 

Peter didn't respond. He just stared. 

 

“Peter.” Tony was on his feet, ready to run over but trying not to scare him. 

 

“Mr. Stark,” he said, his voice quivering. 

 

“Yeah, buddy, what is it?” He asked, taking a step closer. 

 

“I don't think I'm okay,” he said, his voice cracking on the last word. 

 

Tony was by his side in a moment, pulling him into his arms. He immediately started checking for any stab wounds or bullet holes. “What's wrong? Where are you hurt?

 

Peter brought up a hand and tapped his chest, where his heart was. 

 

Tony was relieved that he wasn't about to bleed out on him, but he hated that this was something not as easily fixed. Something that cut much deeper. Something much more painful. “Oh, Peter…” 

 

That was all it took for the dam to break and Peter was clutching to Tony's shirt, crying into his shoulder. It wasn't the kind of tears that Peter tried to hide after a rough beating on patrol. They were loud and ugly and uncontrollable. 

 

“Come sit,” he said, already guiding Peter to the couch. They fell to the cushions, Peter curling up in Tony's arms. “Woah, kiddo, hold on.” Tony did his best to get them both comfortable while Peter still tried to practically crawl into his lap. 

 

“‘m sorry,” he mumbled and tried to pull away, changing his mind or thinking Tony didn't want him so close. But Tony refused to let him leave. 

 

“No. No apologizing.” He held Peter again and let him melt in his arms. Peter settled in close, laying on on top of him just about. 

 

It was definitely something to get used to-- being so physically affectionate after growing up with little to no physical affection. But that was what Peter craved. It was helped him feel better. So, Tony was going to do it. For Peter. 

  
  


The kid didn't say a word for a while after that. He continued to cry in Tony's arms as he did his best to comfort the boy. But his hushed whispers of, “You're okay. I've got you,” didn't seem like enough.

 

After almost twenty minutes of sobbing, Peter managed to lower them to miserable sniffles. Tony never stopped rubbing his back or playing with his curls. “I really liked him.” 

 

_ Of course.  _ The boy Peter had been going on and on about. He met him during his orientation for MIT in the beginning of the summer. They had both found a mutual liking for another and decided to keep in touch and try things out once they got to school in the fall. 

 

Peter went on and on about the boy. How smart he was, how handsome he was, and how funny! And Peter couldn't believe someone actually liked him back-- the kid’s words, not his. 

 

Somehow, that asshole hurt him. 

 

“What did he do?” Tony asked, trying to keep his voice calm. 

 

Peter sniffled again, wiping his face on Tony's shirt. “H-he asked about sex--.” 

 

“Sex?” Tony repeated. “You two haven't even made it official and he's talking about  _ sex _ ?” 

 

“N-not now! Later on. After we've been together,” Peter clarified like it made any difference. 

 

“Number one: it is way too early to be worrying about this. Number two: this isn't a conversation you have over the phone.” Tony continued to rub his back even as Peter sat up to look at him. His face was a red blotchy mess. 

 

“I told him. I didn't-- I didn't think he would...I don't know!” Peter said, getting worked up again. 

 

Tony reached out again hand out to wipe some tears off his wet cheeks. “Shh, just take deep breaths and tell me what happened.”

 

“I told him that I don't see myself...having sex soon,” Peter said, taking a deep breath. “I don't know why I did.” 

 

“Do not blame yourself,” Tony said sternly. “Look at me. Thank you. I am  _ very  _ proud of you. It was obvious what kind of relationship he was looking to get from you by that question.”

 

It was like Peter didn't hear a word he said. “H-he said I was crazy. Selfish. That-- that it was insane of me to expect him not to have sex. He couldn't just go without it. It wasn't fair to him.” 

 

Tony felt his heart start beating as hard and loud as drums of war. “He had  _ no  _ right to say that to you, Peter. None at all.” 

 

The tears were back, but at least he continued to speak. “He-- he said that I wasn't going to ever find someone. That someone could promise me it would be okay, but really, they wouldn't last. He said I'd end up alone.” 

 

“Listen to me, Peter Parker. You will  _ not  _ end up alone. You're going to find your person that loves you  _ for you.  _ Remember what I said? They won't give a damn about sex because  _ you're  _ the prize.” Tony was carding his fingers through Peter's hair and it was doing nothing to console him.  _ Fuck. _

 

“You're just saying that. You can't know that. You can't just say I'll find my person that will love me for me and expect me to believe that. That's a fairytale; this is real life!” Peter snapped, breathing heavy. 

 

Tony didn't falter. Peter needed that. He rubbed his back some more and spoke softer. “You're not going to die alone. Even if you never settle down, you've always got me, kid. Your aunt. Hell, I'm pretty sure Ned would die for you too.” 

 

“He ended it,” Peter said like it wasn't obvious. “Said I wasn't worth his trouble. Not when our relationship wouldn't grow.” 

 

“Sex is not needed for an relationship to grow, Peter.”

 

Peter scoffed. 

 

Tony narrowed his eyes. “You and your aunt: no sex. Still work?”

 

“Mr. Stark, that's not-- she's  _ family.”  _

 

“Still a relationship,” Tony said. “You and me: no sex. Still work?”

 

Peter’s face blushed as he made a disgusted face. “That's-- that's illegal. I'm only 17--.” 

 

“Still a relationship,” he repeated. “You and Ned: no sex. Still work?” 

 

“That doesn't--.” 

 

“Still work?” 

 

Peter sighed. “Yeah, I guess. But it doesn't count.” 

 

“Of course, it does. It's a relationship. One that works without sex. One that I think will last beyond the end of time.” Tony squeezed his shoulder. “The point is: not every relationship needs sex. Even romantic ones.”

 

“Sure feels like it,” Peter grumbled. 

 

Tony deflated, feeling his heart hurt. In such a world where sex was normalized...it was now strange to be the one to  _ not  _ want it. Not wanting sex made you feel like an outcast. “I know. And I  _ wish  _ I could change that for you...but I can't.” 

 

Peter let his shoulders sag and he fell forward, leaning on Tony's shoulder. “I thought...I thought maybe we'd be together. I thought someone actually liked me.” 

 

Tony held his neck, playing with the ringlet curls at the bottom. “He still liked you, kiddo.”

 

“Yeah, just not more than sex,” Peter said unhappily. 

 

“I'm glad it came out now before you two actually started dating,” Tony admitted because this hurt, but for it to come after spending a few weeks or months dating, it would hurt worse. 

 

“I just-- I liked him and he liked me. And...that's never happened. I thought...maybe…” 

 

“I know, kiddo,” Tony soothed him. 

 

“Why would he do this? Why do  _ I  _ have to  _ be like this?”  _ Peter sobbed, starting it over again. 

 

“Stop it. You're like this because you are you. There is  _ nothing  _ wrong with wanting sex.  _ Nothing.  _ So, don't you ever feel like you're the one to blame.” Tony held him a little tighter, hating that he was blaming himself. 

 

“Sometimes I wish I were normal. And I just liked sex like everyone else.” Peter whispered like he didn't want Tony to hear. 

 

“Then you wouldn't be you.”

 

“Good.” 

 

Tony paused. “You don't mean that.” 

 

“Uh huh,” he replied.   

 

Sighing, Tony pulled the kid closer and ran his hand through his hair a few times. He did that silently until there wasn't another knot or tangle in his mop of brown curls. 

 

He knew Peter didn't mean it. He knew Peter was just angry. Of course, there were going to be times when he wished he were normal. But life wasn't always easy.  He was going to have to struggle with people and things around him, and more importantly, himself. 

But he was strong enough to get past it. 

 

But for now, Tony had to be the one to help hold him above water utility he could start treading by himself. 

 

“It hurts,” he whispered. “It hurts so much.” 

 

“I know it does, buddy.”

 

“Why? I don't understand. He's an asshole.  _ I know he is.  _ So, why am I letting this hurt me?” 

 

“Are you really crying over losing the guy? Now that you've seen how disgusting he can be, is that what you're sad about?” 

 

Peter didn't hesitate. “No.”

 

“Because it's what he did. It's how he treated you. It's your worst fears coming to life.” 

 

The hands digging into him dug deeper. 

 

“You're going to meet a lot of assholes along your life. I wish I could shelter you from all of them, but that's not how you learn and grow.” He tucked a curl behind his ear absentmindedly. “But, I'm going to be here every step of the way.” 

 

“I'm sorry,” Peter apologized, wiping the snot off of his face with his sleeve. 

 

“Don't be. I'm glad you came to me, kiddo. Thank you.” 

 

“You really think he was wrong?” 

 

Tony scoffed. “I  _ know _ he was wrong. Don't worry about him.” 

 

“I'll try,” Peter said. 

 

He knew Peter couldn't promise that. He couldn't just decide not to worry about the words said to him. They cut deep into his heart and already found a home. They'd stay there, burrowed away so even when he forgot about them, they could still come out and play. 

 

They were the kind of words that grew the strongest roots and refused to leave. Whereas, Tony's constant reassurances that they were wrong, always got swept away. 

They never stood a chance against the cruel words thrown at him. 

  
  


Tony stark was a genius, but he would never understand why the heart chose to hold onto the horrible things thrown around, but sent away the love and comfort piled on. 

It didn't make sense. 

 

That made the harder. But not impossible. So, Tony was going to give Peter every soft reassurance he had until he believed him. Until he was proud. Until he was happy. Until he was at peace.

 

“You're going to find someone. They're waiting for you. And it's gonna be hell getting there, but you've got a whole team in your corner. Who cares what some asshat has to say. He's just butthurt because he's not half as smart as you and he's gonna wind up alone with his hand for team he rest of his life.” 

 

Peter let out a small laugh. 

 

“You're gonna be okay, kid.” 

 

“You promise?” 

 

Now  _ that  _ was a promise that could be kept. 

 

“Yeah. I promise.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was shit and all over the place. But I was having anxiety and instead of just bottling it in, I wrote it.  
> Which I highly recommend because damn, it feels good.


End file.
